>What is /htgwg/?How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of those even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.>What is /htgwg/ not?These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard these days, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for men trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, who have given up, or who insist that there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can fuck off to.BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!>How to ask for adviceContext is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc...Don't forget to ask an actual question.>Books and Resources"Models": https://ufile.io/f/jrw9j (expired?)"No More Mr Niceguy": https://libgen.li/edition.php?id=143167290"Mystery Method": https://pastebin.com/cMHcY4dc (old pastebin)Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>31136508ive been out of the game for awhile. is it normal to ask for dates or am I supposed to get her number and start over with texts?
>>31136563is it normal to ask for dates or am I supposed to get her number and start over with texts?It's fine to ask for a date, but you don't need to make plans yet, I'd get her number and work out the details by text. You don't need to chat a bunch by text if you aren't great at it or there's no text chemistry, just use it for scheduling the date.
Is social media a requirement to get a gf?
>>31136755only if you want a gf that cares about social media
>>31128745true sligma
For context I’m a woman in my 30’s. I’m just curious if it’s normal for other women (or men, but I suspect that men might have a higher incidence of this), to have intensely violent thoughts?Sometimes all I think about is violence. I’ve never hurt anyone and I never plan on it and I do have empathy. I’ve never lashed out, but I have all this suppressed anger I guess (?) that I fantasize in detail about doing awful, gruesome, traumatizing terrible things to people - Sometimes for hours, all day. A lot of time it’s sexual, but a lot of the time it’s not as well. Is there anyone else who does this or is it super abnormal?How do I stop thinking like this lol
>>31136732>Well the first one was a threesome that ended up un consensual in the middle. I was like 19 or 20 I think.This one seems different from the others. Maybe thinking about that one would help?>(I fucked a lot of men compulsively for free too lol)Did you talk about sex a lot before fucking them? Or make them jump through hoops and qualify them like oh he has to be this muscular and etc>There were times I was uncomfortable doing sex work but I just ended up doing it anyway just to get it over with.This sucks but I get it. But that's different from regular work because it's emotional too.>I also have been sexually harassed at work and school once and I was molested when I was younger.Do you mean verbally or did they touch you? When does it become molestation?Your life has had a lot of sex in it. It makes sense that your fantasies would involve sex as a major component. It's relatable to you in a way.
>>31136745>I just like to show off and I sexted the majority of the men in that chat eventuallyDamn lol>my boyfriend was just interesting and I enjoyed hearing his opinionsThat's cool. Sometimes I think I'm not interesting enough for anyone to really consider me an option. I do have opinions though.
>>31136763Usually I met them online or at bars. The thing about sex addiction is it doesn’t really matter who fucked me, I’ve been fucked by a wide array of men. I didn’t make them jump through hardly any hoops. Although I did have a mild system to sus out anyone who might be dangerous (like more dangerous than just beating me consensually). I would text them and if they ever tried to cross my boundaries I wouldn’t reply back - even if it was subtle. Also if they typed like a retard I wouldn’t reply back either lmao. Also when I was in highschool I had an annoying kid who always smacked my ass walking by me in the hallways. It was super embarassing and I hated it. I would always look back at him and him and his friends would laugh at me. At work one time I worked with an older man alone during night shift. During the shift he started asking me if I was a virgin, if I had a boyfriend, during break he gave me a deep shoulder massage and he touched my chest and face. It was really uncomfortable lol. Also when I was a kid I was molested by a family member. It was brief but it was my first introduction to sex.
>>31136778Haha opinions are attractive, but it just depends on who likes them :P I like when men get passionate about something
>>31136806>I would text them and if they ever tried to cross my boundaries I wouldn’t reply back - even if it was subtle.This is tough because if they don't know your boundaries how do they know if they're crossing a boundary? But asserting yourself is the way to go for sure. Sucks to be them>in highschool I had an annoying kid who always smacked my ass walking by me in the hallways.Did you date him before that? He knew he could get away with it so he victimized you because of that>At workOdd to pair you up alone with a guy like that.>I was molested by a family member.Damn. Yeah I think that would stay with me forever.
I picked up guitar a couple weeks ago, and my (gracious) parents bought me an amp and electric guitar. I'm having a lot of fun, but I'm considering returning the amp, I feel like it often sounds muddy and doesn't have good tone for metal. Looking up demonstrations on youtube seem to concur. I am happy with the guitar itself though. I'm not sure what I should do. I could return it, but I don't really want to then get a more expensive amp. Maybe I should pay the difference myself, like 60 bucks for another amp that might be better. At the same time if I'm gonna get tired of this and want to get rid of it later, maybe I should get an amp to keep long-term. What should I do?
>>31136770Hmm, I'll think about it. It's just that I always try to make the optimum purchase and maximize my value. Also while you're here, because you're experienced, I feel like my intonation is off. I tune it and it's in tune on the open strings but further up the board it sounds a little sharp or flat on some notes. Is that an issue with my strings? it's fixable right?
>>31136456no stick with what you have and adapt to limitationsno one ever got better just for having the perfect gear
>>31136793Don't most bands use digital amps live? >>31136779I'll consider it, but again I'm not sure how I feel about the clean sound. I think I just need to go demo other amps and then decide. I definitely like the guitar though.
>>31136795Yeah you’ll have to adjust the intonation using the screws on the bridge to move those little saddles the string sits on forward or back. Watch a youtube video on how to adjust it, you basically use a tuner and get the 12th fret on each string to match the pitch of the string plucked wide open, or get the 12th fret to match the pitch of when you pluck a harmonic on the 12th fret. So if the 12th fret is showing up sharp on your tuner compared to it wide open, you’ll have to screw the saddle for that string so that the saddle moves slightly away from the 12th fret to flatten that note a little bit. And thus the opposite if that 12th fret were flat. Do that for each string. Also when playing chords and notes higher on the neck they can sound out of tune if you’re sort of not playing gracefully, fretting too hard can sharpen the note, sort of depends on the guitar, and often chords of more than two notes up that high can sound weird, so there are tricks on how to do those without sounding out of tune. You’ll also kind of battle some tuning if you have a whammy bar, and cheaper guitars just in general won’t have perfect frets and can sound a little out of tune sometimes.
>>31136821Alright, I'll do that soon. It's not too bad, but it's noticably a little worse than my acoustic from my dad. Maybe the intonation isn't even bad and it's just my ear, because I only really hear it when I'm not plugged in. I don't have a whammy bar, I'm kinda glad because it seems like a pain in the ass to deal with and I don't even usually like the sound of it.
What did he do wrong?
>>31135079He gave up
bad aim
>>31135079>What did he do wrong?I have no idea why people venerate him when his only achievement is making being a virgin is synonymous with being a mass shooter and turning incel into a dirty word.
>>31135079genuinely put his faith in The Secret instead of staying on that grindwouldn't stop resubbing to WOWhung out with people he hated and immediately came home to bitch about them in his journal instead of being directincredibly feminine tendencies
>>31135079Didn't ask his father for romantic advice.
I watched some dumb video on YouTube to get a hands free orgasm. In the vid a lady describes a sexual situation then theres like beats in a background and you're supposed to breathe along to it and apparently it gets you an orgasm. NOW in my case all it gave me was an anxiety attack (turns out that tingling wasn't anything erotic). I did this several more times,then at work whenever I saw a hot girl in yoga pants, and it resulted in me getting an anxiety attack. But then my anxiety started getting triggered anytime I was horny. I somehow pavlovian conditioned myself. Now after a year of fighting with it, I wake up with heart palpitations everyday against my will that my body cannot stop. I literally have tried everything to get wlthis go away.
>>31136593Like every time I see a girl I get the anxiety symptoms and then I feel like throwing up after like freaking clockwork orange.
>>31136593>>31136602I literally don’t know what to tell you. You need a psychiatrist
>>31136387What the fuck did you watch, some demonically possessed tape?You probably need a psychologist or someone else who'd know what to do in this situation.
>>31136782Be careful with those HFO erotic hypnosis videos anon
>>31136810I have no idea what that is and am very happy about that fact. I do have a hippy friend who told me to be careful with YouTube guided meditations because some videos include "subliminals". I have no idea what the fuck he was talking about either but I don't watch YouTube meditation videos so I'm good.
What kind of hobbies do you have? Which are worth the cost? I made a list of some things and how much they cost locally for me
>>31133422I have tried some hobbies which are not too expensive and anyone can do, even with budget cuts. >PianoBeen playing for a lot of years. But have had months or years where I didn’t play at all. I’m still intermediate (I’m ABSRM level 7) and have trouble with fast pieces. I could be better, but i don’t have a teacher and I don’t have the patience like before. Overall I rate 7/10. You have to be rich and autistic to truly enjoy at its fullest.>Drawing Wanted to draw some anime characters. Drew for 2-3 months. Did decent progress, then I traced a pic and then got btfo’d over it. And now I don’t wanna draw anymore because I hate the fags who humiliated me. It’s also very tedious and boring. 5/10>Music prodAm a poorfag, so I only have GarageBand. I created a song I like, but it’s just way too hard for me to understand sometimes and I don’t have enough good ideas, patience and the software to continue with it. 6/10>lifting, intense boxing drill cardio Did see gains but I got bored of it really fucking fast and I lost most of the muscle after quitting. Fuck lifting. It’s boring as shit. 4/10 >Sim racingGreat stuff for ppl who can’t afford irl racing. It was really fun and a lot of the skill I learned translated over to irl driving like you wouldn’t believe. Had to sell it because after a few years, it was wasting a lot of my time and I didn’t want to end up as a iracing queer. 8/10>CyclingDoing this right now. It’s an awesome hobby and I love going fast. I can certainly recommend it. 9/10>fish keepingComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>31135626Also if I had the money and time. I would do paintball because that shit is really fucking fun. Insurgency co-op taught me a lot about positional tactics so last time I went in a paintball match, I destroyed the enemy team even though the other team looked more athletic than me
>>31135626>>31135659Yeah, piano is top tier. Paintball is also good. I was too poor to try it as a teenager with my call of duty buddies, but now as a 27 year old got enough extra money to experience life properly
>>31133422Social danceAbsolutely worth the cost(competitive dance is not, though)
>>31133422Personally I am getting into making dioramas.Right now it seems kinda overpriced (though I am saving money on the bases cause I have a lot of left over styrofoam from my family). Really it seems kinda expensive, but I think that is because I don't have it down yet so I don't know what to really buy/save for.
My friends say a girl is stalking me and I don't really know what to do about it.We run into her a lot... I say hello she waves hello and thats the end of it... I've caught her out of the corner of my eye at various places... she likes everything I post on social media... She gave me a present on my birthday even though I never told her it, she also gave me something on Valentines day. I know who she is, Shes a mute girl, really autistic though she was able to live on her own for a while until covid hit... she isn't mute because of the autism, an ex of hers stabbed her in the neck then hung himself. She isn't threatening, at all, shes not even an inconvenience or anything, shes really done nothing wrong but seeming to follow me and I don't know what to really do about it.I do know shes drawn me, quite a few times, a friend of mine stole her sketchbook... she was pretty mad at him about it... stomped her feet and smacked him for it... she disappeared for a week, like completely and then came back like nothing happened.Whats going on? is she stalking me?
>>31136798It does sound like she's stalking you but if you're not afraid of her, you can probably just leave it be. If she's just a weirdo autist, the stalking is probably more harmful to her than to you, since she's spending her time on someone who's not interested. If it's making you really uncomfortable, it may be worth it to try and have a conversation with her and try and get her to drop it, for both of your sakes.>she isn't mute because of the autism, an ex of hers stabbed her in the neck then hung himself.What the fuck.
I've been with my gf for around a year and a half. I love her dearly, but 5 months in I cheated on her. What makes it bad is that I cheated on her with 2 guys and a girl, what makes it the worst is the girl was a ftm (female wanting to be a male). And my gf saw us hanging out together, and even once, had a incident where my gf cried because I went and took the ride with my hook up for weed. So not only have I killed the relationship, I desecrated the corpse. Shell never forgive me if I tell her. She's a sweet, caring, loving, strong, funny, amazing person. I love her, so much. She's my everything...but, also, she's a big financial crutch. She's always been there for me to help pay rent, buy me groceries, buy me a phone, drive me places, love me. If I tell her now, I fuck myself. I fucked myself by cheating, but id immediately fuck myself if I tell her. Rides to work, half off rent, woman love, food, etc. So now I'm stuck. I can't tell her, but it's eating me alive inside. She loves me so much. She trust me so much. Telling her would ruin her. At work now, always panicking and depressed about this. Just trying to enjoy the moments I have with her now. Hoping she might forgive me, knowing she will never be the same. What would y'all do, what do y'all think. Ok I'm a piece of shit. But it's to late now. Making me think of kms.
>>31135852Youre already a piece of shit who is using her, you don't actually feel bad lmao
r u a woman?
I have such an insane time quitting porn. When I do use it, I try to think about why I am even using it and the number one reason is a combination of being bored AND lonely. I usually have a hard time shaking boredom. I also like looking at naked women. So what would be the normal way to masturbate but not rot your mind? Even if I don't use porn, I would basically just be imagining porn like situations anyway. Also, if I were to switch over to jacking off to instagram "models" would that be any better even though they are clothed? I just don't want my brain to rot and I want to be able to ejaculate with a woman normally. However, I am pretty inept at getting a girlfriend(never had one and I am 30 years old). So what can I even do if you aren't supposed to jerk off and you can't get a girlfriend?
Just get off it. There’s no good reason to watch porn. Your soul is being used.
>>31134249No, you're saying that you've seen a pic of a fat person, and therefore any tasty food must be banned because all humans are incapable of eating responsibly.
>>31132777> the number one reason is a combination of being bored AND lonely. I usually have a hard time shaking boredom.>the number one reasonto paraphrase 'the question is not why the addiction but why the pain''beating boredom and loneliness'
>>31132777I bet she could completely destroy my penis with her legsbut, JFC, she's so fucking hot...fuck you OP, I didn't want to get horny rn
>>31132777One thing that works for me is to imagine the smell before I start fapping. I find the smell of sex while not horny disgusting.
A close friend of mine spoke to my girlfriend in private and tried to get her to break up with me (she told me about this). My friend told her that since I only make around 50k a year, she should leave me and go for someone who makes more money. He isn't interested in her himself, it was just general advice. Would it be an overreaction to stop being friends with him?
>>31136647No
>>31136647>"friend" of mine spoke to my girlfriend in private and tried to get her to break up with meYou are a spineless faggot if you don't do something about his.
>>31136647Assuming that your gf is actually telling the truth, yes, that's something worth parting ways over, forever.
>>31136647Perhaps it may be good to endeavor in a proper investigation. To be able to hear your close friend's side may clear up a few inconveniences.In wild chance, it is not improbable that your close friend may have uncovered something sinister or worse, and having done so may or may not have struck a bad cord with your partner.It is best to be absolitely certain, you may or may not be burning a bridge to an innocent man, or someone who is more convenient removed.
>go to club>see girl eyeing me>approach her>we dance and drink and end up going back to her hotel room>we get into bed>she tells me I can take my clothes off (in a non-sexual way imo)>I do>we cuddle and go to sleep>she ghosts me the next dayWas the sex supposed to happen then? I didn’t get any indicators she wanted to fuck. We didn’t even kiss much. we made out for a bit at the club but she pulled away after a few seconds each time.We were both drunk and very tired when we got to her hotel. It didn’t seem like she wanted to fuck.I wanted to meet her then next day and have sex then but like I said she ghosted.
>>31132512How am I larping? This happened to me in June. I’m going on another holiday soon and I want to avoid having this happen again.
>>31132632Btw im trans, not sure if that matters. Anyways..
>>31132637That’s great if you are, i’m not tho.
>>31069458not 100%
>>31134738yes they are if you have an iq above 80. They put 99% for legal purposes.
Been using this girl for sex and she keeps on freaking out that I'm sleeping with "5 girls a week". I keep telling her no I'm not, I don't have the time and energy but I'm also telling her that I'm not obligated to sleep with her exclusively (which I would think should excuse me from her freaking out on me every other time I see her). She's also mad that I only call her like once a month (I'm genuinely busy with school) and I prefer staying in with beer and pizza to going out.I feel like a piece of shit but I don't find her company intrinsically rewarding, I just like the sex. I'm trying to tell her to leave me if it's too painful but she keeps apologizing after every time she freaks outWhat do?
I'm going to caveI know I will
>>31133267>I'm trying to tell her to leave me if it's too painful but she keeps apologizing after every time she freaks outDude you are just causing even more mental trauma this way, please take a clear cut stance and stop fucking with her mind.
>>31135937>feel like I'm giving her every chance to stand up for her wantscmon man dont put her in the position where she has to "stand up" to you. if you know what youre doing is bad then end it. literally any reason you tell her is better than stringing her along like this but best if you dont give a real reason if you cant do that decently. just "its not working out im sorry" as politely as you can
>>31136131>>31136200Women aren't expected to do anything holy fucking shit. This shit is the reason I watch hentai
>>31136488Dude I don't even expect people to tie their shoelaces right, men or women. I am saying this because I have mentally ill women in my own life who'd get fucked up really badly by this kind of situation. Believe it or not, lots of folks are crazy and have fragile psyches.
I think I am seeing an emotional prostitute, and I am catching feelings. I need to detach but I'm unsure how to proceed.
>>31135454Drunk texted her how’s she’s been lmaoo Welp I’ll regret this in the morning
gf keeps trying to confide in me about the cat she had to put down because it was dying that was neglected 90% of its life just so she can get attention. 'it was just like my other cat that died :(' sure was. aint that a fuckin thing. of course itd be one thing if she actually loved the cat but it annoyed her more than anything. id also spend more time around her if it wasnt her just constantly bitching about everything every time. im stressed enough as it is.
You knew I was being genuine with how I deeply felt about you. So much so you loved me back instantly. The problem was that I denied myself from being with you. Couldn’t tell if it was instincts holding me back or me being a massive pussy. At the time when I had made my decision, it was very chaotic time for me and was on the cusp of being ambushed by some people I thought were friends. Overall, I just didn’t want to drag you down. Fast forward and we are in different directions in life. I just know you are feeling very lonely now. I’m sorry for not being the support system you needed early on. I can sense you are in need of someone. I wish I can fill that for you. I believe it’s too late for that. I let time slip away. I wish I had more time for our love to blossom. I wish I can give you the love you deserve.You left such an impression on me that no matter how hard I try to move on. You’re still the girl I think about. All day all night. I love you.
>>31136787Reach out to themLife's too short
I’m in my early 20s and got out of rehab a few months ago (almost 7 months sober), never been arrested or anything that would make life harder. I genuinely think I have a chance to live an amazing life, but I need some “guidance” on what to do. I regularly attend AA meetings and I’m at a community college right now where I plan on going to a 4 year university, but so far I’ve made a short list on how I can actually fix myself because I feel so behind from everyone I went to high school with and I REALLY don’t want to waste my life. Some of these I’m already doing- working out 6 times a week- working very hard at my job even though it’s not in my intended major- going to AA meetings everyday- going back to churchAny other suggestions are welcomed
>>31136698What are your goals? "Living an amazing life" means different things to different people. With more details about where you'd like to be just 10 years from now can help determine what things you could focus on today.
>>31136722Well I’m going to school for computer science and my goal is to get a job at a large company as a researcher, but aside from career goals the standard of owning a house, wife and starting a family. Making money from investing and side businesses so I can actually travel and see the world. I’d also like to get a PhD from an elite university.
>>31136733So you'll need 4 years for university (is that combined bachelor's and master's?), and then 4 years for the PhD. Do consider that you'll be just as valuable in the workforce with a lower degree than with the PhD. PhDs are only really needed for research jobs in academia. Research jobs in private IT sector are very rare and don't requires PhDs.Investing and side businesses... Hmm... I think you should remain focused on other things that are more guaranteed, like your studies. "Investing" for most people is throwing around small sums of money to make minimal gains.Side businesses? Plural? Most people can't even run one business well.I think you need a bit more focus, as there is no way you can do all of these things. Perhaps take more time to consider your long-term *goals* rather than what stuff you'd like to *do*. Then consider what things to do that help you towards those goals.
>>31136753I meant business* sorry. I mean either way there’s nothing wrong with long term investments that are safe (etfs for example) right? You might be right about the PhD although I most likely will go for a masters. I know my long term goals consist of being at least upper middle class by my 50s and starting a family along with some sort of academic “achievement”.
I say I'm going to change, fail, and then end up even worse than I originally was, and that keeps happening. I've set myself back years now, by the time I graduate with a bachelors, my highschool mates will be receiving their masters, I'm an alcoholic piece of shit family member, I haven't had a date in 5 years, I haven't been with old friends for almost 4 now, I've gained over 100lbs, my sleep is shit. The only good thing going for me is my job which is the highest paying I've ever had, but I can get fired at a moments notice because of how many times I've missed Mondays from being blackout drunk. I try to tell myself to tough it out, but there is something wrong in my head, I can't ever see myself happy, when I do I tear it down and then I'm forced to pick up the pieces again.
>>31136150You wouldn't be the first person who tries to force radical change on himself, only to fail and become demoralised. Radical change basically never happens with people, and when it does happen, usually it's for the worse, like someone developing a meth addiction or something.You should actually try acknowledging and working with your situation instead of trying to erase it at the snap of a finger. Pursue gradual change. Start with dialling down your alcohol consumption. Try alcoholics anonymous. Try to make real change - at least, do not drink on Sundays. Attend your job regularly every Monday, and once you've made some good progress on that, speak to your manager or boss (if they are a good person), confess your problem and say that you'll try your utmost to never miss a Monday again. That would be a solid start for you. Once you have the alcohol and job under control, your weight (and therefore health) is probably the next priority. Then the bachelor's. Think about the dates and friends afterwards - perhaps you can make some friends at alcoholics anonymous, at least for the time being.Also, don't worry so much about being behind. You are doing your best, as is everyone else - we get what fortune allows us to have. Life is a precarious thing. One of my friends did everything right and put in many times the effort necessary into building a better life, only to develop a rare, chronic medical condition out of nowhere. Now his life is totally in ruins. Fate gives and takes unpredictably - don't concern yourself with being "behind" or "ahead". You are not the one supreme authority that determines that.
>>31136150Your main problem is alcoholism, so stop drinking and commit to a regular sleeping schedule. Use an alarm clock.Really put some effort in preserving your job, which is your main anchor in normalcy.All other things will put itself in place as time goes by, like puzzle pieces.Tell us how is going on in a year anon.
