>got my first gf at 25, lost my virginity to her>she's kind of mid looking, doesn't have the body shape or ass or face that I really want>I'm not looking for a perfect 10 but it would be nice if she had one of those traits>she seems to really like me, wants me to meet her parents >keep seeing her every week because I have literally no other options >other day we had sex and afterwards she cried because I didn't cum, she wonders if I'm enjoying myself or not during sexI just feel really guilty for being with a girl that I couldn't imagine having a baby with due to the low attraction. I don't want kids in general, but I lowkey still want to feel attracted enough to a girl that I wouldn't mind getting her pregnant. I want that primal raw attraction, like I want to feel like I would gladly eat her ass and pussy and cum inside her, and I don't feel that with this girl. But she is pretty nice to me, treats me great, we spend all day together and seem match personalities, although sometimes I think she can sense something about me that's not quite right.
I've been with my gf for 9 months and i've never come once. I want to see a sex therapist but I don't think it will help since they all seem focused on mindfullness and tantric touch/feelIf anyone knows a good sex therapist resource please link im struggling here
>>31283995>other day we had sex and afterwards she cried because I didn't cum>>31284241practice using your imagination to finish. train your kegal muscles. Or come of the closet.Besides that, i think you should break up for being a shit boyfriend who only wants to use girls for sex and fails at that anyway.
>>31283995maybe it's time to end things
>>31283995What you feel is normal.This is serious, actual relationship stuff, so have an honest talk about it. Keep in mind that people can change if they want to, and relationships are always full of compromises.In the end, there can be two broad outcomes:1. You share higher goals and stay together2. You aren't compatible and you break upEither way, it's for the best, because you've discussed the topic and came up with the decision mutually.
Its okay to regret your first, most people do. Just don't regret your last.
if I tell my boyfriend that I'm craving words of affection instead of physical touch (he only expresses thru touch, never any words or actions) then is that still a genuine display of affection from him? My biggest fear is he starts to just do what I want him to and not what he feels in his heart to do
Remember when people say communication is key? This is the communication that you need to do
Just do what you want him to do, give him words of affection often and he will adopt your mannerisms to a degree. Then you know what he says is still authentic without you openly telling him what to do (which would be really weird and wouldn't work anyway if you ask me)
>>31286470Imagine this:>if I tell my boyfriend that I'm craving dick in pussy instead of my ass (he only fucks my ass, never my pussy or mouth) then is that still a genuine display of affection from him? My biggest fear is he starts to just do what I want him to and not what he feels in his heart to doOr this:>if your boyfriend told you that he wants to be on top instead of getting pegged (you only do it with the strapon, never any missionary or rimjob) then is that still a genuine display of affection from you? His biggest fear is you start to just do what he wants you to and not what you feel in your heart to doHope this helps.
>Is it bad if I communicate with my boyfriend?Why are women this retarded? No wonder they make every relationship fail.
it’s even more genuine because he’s doing it for you
I feel unworthy of relationships with people (friendships included) because I'm just not a very interesting, insightful, intelligent or funny person. There is literally nothing of value anybody gains from being around me, but I'm not sad or mopey about it, I've been a loner since I was 14ish and for the most part I have found content and joy in solitude and having no friends, no family, no partner. Still, a part of me desires physical and emotional intimacy with a cute girl. I just don't know how to start to form a close relationship with anyone.
most people aren't and they still have friends. there are simple pleasures about being friends with someone that I'm not really smart enough to pinpoint, but you know, shared emotions and values are good. you dont have to be a genius to enjoy someones company.
>>31285300Maybe, but I really just want a partner. I'm decent looking too (6'1, above average physique, good jawline) but I'm just an autist who has never formed close relationships with people before
Can anybody give me any other things to add to my list of stuff I need to do before I try to get a girlfriend. Thanks
>>31287285>I may as well have it sortedNo.Look, a girlfriend is like a best friend that you can kiss fuck and cuddle. You already waited until your 20s, you need practice, because there is a high chance you will fuck up. Women want security in their 30s. You don't need shit to date in your early 20s. Go out and find women you actually like hanging out with.
>>31287341That first paragraph is top tier advice.>once I do this I will finally do thatFamous last word
>>31287079Mate did no one teach yoi about SMART goals. Wtf is "dress better"You need this shit to be measurable, actionable etc
Where's the personality, I see no hobbies or interests
>>31287079Most people who have a girlfriend didn't have to think about this shit. You are probably ugly and an empty husk of a person.
I have this friend that I see pretty much every day. He is absolutelly obssessed with being smart, with people thinking that he is smart more specifically. The thing is that he is visibly not the brightest, he got a 98 score on an IQ test that me and another friend tried helping him indirectly, after wich he said that he knew the answers, he just needed more time. He says he dreams of being an intelectual but doesnt really do much to become one. - He doesnt read that much, for enjoyment he will only pick up self help books. For studying he limits his compreention to what is directly into his face.- He doenst really watch "harder" films, he doesnt really elaborate on them, when he does it usually doesnt goes past "this is woke agenda"- He does not enjoy politics, doesnt read anything about it but says he is frustrated because he doesnt feel like he can debate in it- He is not interested in any of the natural or mathematical sciences- He is lazy when it comes to learjing other languagesEven though this is all pretty frustrating I sometimes try to bring up more complex topics only for him to shut me down, is there anything else I could do to help?
>>31287396>Can I help himProbably, but why do you feel changing his mind actually is "helpful" here?Based on what you're saying, it's pretty obvious to external observers he's a pseud, so making a point about it is therefore unnecessary to convince other people because they already know - so the only person who disagrees with you, is him. Therefore, it's not obvious to me why you'd want to convince someone you consider a friend>You're not as smart as you think you are, buddy!Like, what's the intended outcome of that, he says>Yeah, I guess I'm retarded, thanks for letting me know?This seems to me like a mean-spirited, empty goal, which comes off as needlessly cruel and mostly looks like you trying to fluff your own ego. Unless he's harming people with his misconception, I don't see a good case here to do anything.
>>31287396Just tell him that intelligence is overrated and that wisdom is the real meat for any thinker worth their salt, and wisdom requires experience instead of smarts so he can always become wise whenever. That or maybe tell him it could be worse, he could be a midwit, someone neither dumb nor smart. They are usually the worst type of people to deal with.
>Buff>Confident>Loads of money>Ambitious>Charismatic>Rides a cool motorcycleAnons, unironically, how do I Wariomaxx? He is literally everything I want to be as a man.
Learning to drive a motorcycle is probably a good start.
He also owns a video game company
kidnap a princess and tell us how it goes
I realised something today.While I'm desperately trying to get rid of porn once and for all. I noticed that it was the only source I had to feel aroused and play with my horniness (other than IRL experiences obviously).I like the feeling of being horny. The longer it lasts, the better. But with porn, I cum in like 5 minutes (if I'm resisting) and that's it. End of the game.So besides porn. How can I play with my libido. I tought about erotic literatture but I'm not into reading besides some specific type of books. I'm a man btw.
>>31286180You think porn is bad but gooning for hours is good?Alright.
>>31286186I'm not a lost teenager anymore. Not trying to impress anyone by how "unshakeablee" and edgy I am.>>31286189I don't even know what gooning is.
did the same, libido came back with a passion after 3 days for me, and now it's focused on girls I've seen at the gym and stuff too.
Bump
>>31286180>other than IRL experiences obviouslyFuck off, normalfag
How can I deal with the pain that a bitch I kissed and loved, just dumped me and will soon be bouncing on someone’s else dick?
>>31285497>I miss her dawg>a bitch I kissed and lovedYou've got to stop with dogs and try humans.
>>31286156Like i try but from randomly my mind keeps throwing at me these flashes of the memories we spent together… wish i never met her
>>31285497https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/31240267/#31240470
>>31287223Thanks bro
>>31285497Bounced on my boy's dick while reading this.
Tips on getting over emotionally/sexually traumatic relationships as a straight male and how to identify what's attracting abusive women?There's several male members of my family who have gone through the same things but always kept it to themselves and died of heart attacks in their 40s or 50s. I don't want to end up like them.
>>31286089>and how to identify what's attracting abusive women?That part is easy. Take a pen and a notepad and write down all the negatives of your abusive relationshit you had with a girl in the past (or present). Make a big fat list. Bonus points if you can get all the small details, things like deflecting, gaslighting, weaponising guilt, all of it. Once you’ve done that, make a new list. This time you’re gonna focus on mom and dad/step-dad/whoever the fuck. You’re going to run the same checklist, write down all of the shit they said and did to each other, all the negatives and bullshit.Then run a cross-comparison. Compare the two notes, and watch how they scream into your face that history repeated itself and that you ‘attracting’ abusive women was actually that you were attracted to them, like a fly on shit. And it’s because you normalised red flags, were desensitised to them, and outright unconsciously preferred them because it felt familiar and gave you a false impression of safety.
>>31287164Listening to the second video now and it's certainly striking a nerve. Thank you.>>31287260>Do you have hobbies?Yeah, I'm busy with work a lot but it keeps me very social. I do lots of things outdoors but I've always just sort of attracted people randomly, never through any shared interests. Like I'll meet girls at the store or they'll come to my business but I've never met a girl rock climbing, at the gym, kayaking, or skating. I just meet other dudes doing that. >do you have a hunch why you attract bpd?Not really, maybe because I focus too much on traits I don't like or I'm hanging into the past. The videos anon posted are resonating quite a bit
>>31287274That sounds pretty accurate. Now how do you change not being attracted to those traits?
>>31287290Well, that could be the red flag, the fact random girls come up to you without any interest connection and you don't say no.Try being the one approaching girls, and try your hardest finding ones in your interests. Maybe you are too much of a pushover and not enough someone who takes the initiative (no offence intended, don't know you)
>>31287342By doing inner work. Explore how ugly codependency is, especially when you truly learn all the personal ways it manifested in your dysfunctional upbringing. Once you really begin to see the bigger picture, the less you’ll want to date the other side of the dysfunctional coin, these crazies/BPDemons. Because that’s exactly what they are, they are the other traumatic half of your dysfunction, only difference is they are molded to be emotional aggressors, you are molded to be emotionally compliant. The two dysfunctional children of trauma are psychologically fated to find each other out, time and time and time again over and over. It’s a very real phenomenon, and the only way to break out of it is to truly understand what is happening. And the only scope to view it is the lens of your own childhood.
>Wagie from 8am to 4pm>I usually eat healthy and work out at least twice a week>3 meals a day and protein after working out.How can i mantain energy levels through the day? Specially after work, can't seem to keep a steady level of energy by the time i'm home so i rarely get anything done during the week.I've tried different things like drinking enough water through the day, coffee after work, even slacking on work but it's just not enough. I don't feel depressed just physically tired.Have you ever been on this situation? Any tips you have?
>>312843101. Intermittent fasting/restricted feeding window. Gives your body downtime rather than digesting all the time.2. Is the job stressful? Daily breath meditation will make a difference. As above, let's you come down intermittently instead of stressing all day.3. A hobby that introduces so-called eustress (good stress) such as skydiving, base jumping, rally car racing, crossfit, orienteering. Basically anything that "mixes up" your normal mental and physical functioning.4. Consult a doctor and get tested for diabetes, thyroid, etc.
What work do you do? This issue needs more specific information, since how to solve it depends on what causes tiredness in the first place. There are like 1000 different reasons as to why you may be fatiqued
>>31284310Can't you just tell your body to dump more glucose and adrenaline into its system?I do that.
>>31284310Try taking a nap at some point soon after work. Do it every day. 20 to 30 min, see what works best for you. And remember that if you sleep 45 min or more, you might go into too deep of a sleep, and wake up groggy.To some it works wonders. If you need more sleep, you need more sleep. Some people are almost hard wired like that, they need the nap to function better. Most of my bloodline is like that too. Probably me too. Fuck i'm tired.
>>312843108 hours of not so fun work should be enough for one day. taking a rest and chilling on weekdays is totally fine imo
what are the exact words to break up with someone without hurting her feelings?could you please advice?
>>31286943>exact words"Far and few, far and few,Are the lands where the Jumblies live;Their heads are green, and their hands are blueAnd they went to sea in a sieve."
>>31286943https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/28867424/#28869451
>>31286943There are none, there are only more hurtful words and less hurtful words. No matter what you do you will hurt this person but you decide to what extent. Be honest but don't be brutal, you'll both be ok.
I would like us to atop seeing each other.Why?I don't see this relationship going anywhere. I'm sorry but I enjoyed the time we did have together.Are you seeing anyone else?No and I don't plan to in the foreseeable future. I want to focus on my life. Again I'm sorry.
>>31286949No one actually believes that. Lying will just make it worse
I'm a stoner. Ever since I started having sex I have had problems ejaculating. Sometimes I can be hours trying to reach orgasm and at another moment I can cum on 5 minutes. Most of the time I need to masturbate in order to ejaculate. That has led to an scene of erectile dysfunction that lasted near 10 minutes. This has given me a lot of pressure because I put great emphasis on mine and other's sexual wellbeing.Some factors to consider: I masturbate a lot and watch porn often, even though I do have an active sex life. I smoke marijuana as well, and my sleeping schedule is horrible. I'm guessing those bad habits are the reasons for that problem. If so, has anybody experienced something similar?
>>31287098dont have any advice, sorry. But may I ask how old are you and how long youve been smoking weed and how much per day?
you should stop watching porn. and stop jacking off for 1 week. then your next sex will be normal
>>3128723020 years old. Almost twice daily since the start of the year, have been smoking regularly since I'm a minor.
>>31287098Weed makes you more physically sensitive, so it is unlikely to cause sex problems. Porn can definitely cause ED.
>>31287098are you fucking dense? stop choking your dick and watching porn
problem: i have limited space on my phone and i traverse areas with limited network coverage.i have no sd card slot. are there any good usb sticks that work with phone usb slots while being small and wont snap inside my bag? i just wanna download some music onto it
>>31287293usbc flash drive is rare. You can try a usb tp usbc dongle, but you will probably be better off downloading in slightly lower quality. These days music compression is insanely good.
I'm gonna go on a date with this girl in a few weeks. She's older (I'm 19 and she's 22) smarter, more educated and probably wealthier than I am. But she seems to like me and I like her too so that's a good thing. We only texted and voice called before so this will be my first time seeing her irl. The thing is I'm very socially awkward and only went on a few dates before and I have no idea what to do on dates or how to be fun. I can be pretty charming when I'm comfortable around people but that takes some time. I would appreciate your suggestions.
>>31287095https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y2QmbPeH9Yhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkfXuIIfULU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F40Iy1opWFI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzKZeaCa9lc https://www.girlschase.com/article/planning-first-second-date https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date
do a magic trick
Is 26 too late to do fun young stuff? I feel like my adult life so far has just been squandered working and studying and struggling. End of this year I’ll have my masters and 8 years of solid work experience, but I’m not even sure it was worth the sacrifice. My dating life is a total fucking failure and all my friends really awkwardly live in different states and I live in NY all alone in a piece of shit studio full of roaches.
Nope. But you're getting closer.
>>31285568who cares about patrying??? trust me its a waste of time and effort, go learn how to fight instead, and got to church
Thirtysomethings party just as much as twentysomething. And in New York? What are you worried about, OP?
dude I'm 27 and I drink and do drugs until I'm almost deadnothing wrong with that
i partied harder in my 20s but (more frequently) but in my 30s i do less total days of party but each one is way bigger and better. still tons of single girls but i have a wife and kids so i mostly do drugs and dance. occasionally i’ll make out with some girl but dont tell my wife
