>>77433444
>>77434517
can become something not technically untrue and all the more damning for the way he frames everything I've ever *done* damning, everything I am. For instance, apology. Kris has apologized a thousand times over in a thousand beautiful words. I do not ever believe his words entirely hollow. Not even his actions. Everything we do as souls, we do for and from Love. But some actions are unbalanced in their search for it, full of burdensome things, patterns, conditioning. And acting out those phantom routines hurts other people. I'm the type of person to speculate something like, "And it probably hurts more in the doing, in the Being, than for all the hurt it inflicts" but even for my own pain I can't posit that, and I surely can't well know for others. Either way..

I don't have more to say at the moment. I'm tired of this, I've always been tired of it. Being wrung for everything you've got by a *situation* that INVOLVES someone you could never truly release is hellish. It apparently does not matter how many times I detail not even MY SIDE of "the story" but FACTUAL EVIDENCE. When "your side" is *lies* then a refutation and correction of veritable slander falls somewhere outside """my side""". And if facts don't matter, why would my feelings? If I've hurt Kris, why would it matter that I was hurt? When you hurt Kris, it doesn't even matter who hurt who first. He hurt long before you, he has more to grapple with now, and yyyou're gonna hurt right along with him! Christ. Jesus christ. I think some of my parenthesis ended up with parenthesis. Whatever, it's been a minute since I truly structured it all as a genuine outside response. Greases different gears and that's good

'S the internet, no one knows who they're talking to. Som'n'll come along another day n play out the
>I'm just a really honest, mature, healthy, sincere and authentic guy who tried his best and was taken for granted and treated like dirt by another dime-a-dozen manic pixie dreamgirl

>>77434773
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup - not only that, but you've served it to me in a niggardly proportion. More flies, please.

>>77433444
>>77434777
simulation with him. Maybe I'll have the breath to express my feelings about it all again then. Maybe they'll even be different.
But all I have is my Love and my confusion, and nothing on the field changes. So I don't know why they would

>>77434442
Yes, another of my favorite textbook examples of le
>Raises a contradiction in the values you claim, things you routinely harass random Anons here and in GIO for, something you criticized my last abusive partner for
>Move conversational goalposts AKA completely drop the matter when met with a valid if not ultimately trumping data point, turn to another issue you turned away from the last three attempts to address, turn to something """new"", turn away, turn, turn, flip, flop, lash lash laaash out in accusations and diagnosis and condemnations and curses
Kris phenomenon

I haven't tried to message you or "you" anywhere since the attempt to reach out for ethicality and transparency's sake (is it snoopy to do something like that in the situation we were in? I dunno, either it's what you've said and you're like a really milquetoast bargain-brand Croc with the narrative you've roped your wife into about me on top of the situation you persist in.. Or, it's still more insult than extended hand to show a wife that her husband is talking about her the way you do. Shrug) and then since the apology by protonmail for using the weird and aggressive
>Bro the whole point was not that dating someone overweight with some microbiome imbalances was the L; the L was being SO BEYOND DOWN FOR SOMEONE, spiraling yourself sick at the hurdle of "I am not 100% uncontrollably voraciously physically attracted to this person", knowing it's making you withdraw a bit (still going to point out that in trying to give you benefit of the doubt I let you gaslight me lmao it's all there in the DMs we were talking LOTS. But as I've said lots too, the important part there IS that your unhealthier attachment style modes were triggered

It's really hilarious when narcissists try to weave the victim story and Garner sympathy by pointing the finger at you. Eventually you get use to it. It's the same playbook every time. And it's never worth engaging in.

Lmao the absurd and delusional interpretations too. Not even just uncharitable. Just insane. Reminds me that I'm dealing with someone truly mentally ill and I should honestly just distance even more. For their own sake, it anyone's

When I felt with my hand where her tits were supposed to be, I felt nothing. She has no tits, and thus nothing of value was lost

Meh

>>77434442
>>77434806
and you were hurting. But when you say that when I'm *already* saying that, it seems to translate to somethin a lot more like "Everything else is unimportant because you hurt me. No facts apply but the transcendentally subjective ones of my own emotional state". Combine that with "Once someone of a Favorite Person or comparable/adjacent role hurts me I can never do anything but disbelieve them, plan the way I will hurt them worse because I am certain the next hurt is always approaching, and in this way I seal my self-devouring".. pretty upshitcreektier, b0ss) and sitting there watching it all slip while I DO love you and want to stay together and it doesn't matter. The years invested in friendship, the cautious approach towards romance, everything neglected along the way.. To learn you were never capable of being in my life long-term or in a way that is not mutually.. eviscerative
"bwaa bwaa let me show you YOU SHALL SEE YOU SHALL HATE ME FOR WHAT I AM THERE IS INDEED A LAYER ALBEIT ABOVE MANY OTHERS THAT IS PRETTY GROSS AND SHAMEFUL AND SHALLOW"

But I'm not a shallow *person*, man. I overthink and I'm critical on account of that, or, some way around.. But none of this matters. You'll bring up shit I've addressed endlessly, as I'm doing now, as though I haven't, or you'll resort to petty namecalling and evil-eyeing, or you'll ignore me to engage someone who in their ignorance solidifies the narrative you want to habitate.
I don't really have a key for when I care to reply or if there's always a next time but it's been hard to find the headspace for higher degrees of actionable surrender with the way you've clearly been feelin

and flailin

You
>don't want to argue
Yeah?
So why are you always starting shit like I won't stand up for myself? Which is valid in most cases --standing up for yourself, if that's what it is. Linguistically it implies the need to, dishonor or harm done. So, if used correctly, supremely so called for and

Oh my God she's STILL going lmao

>>77435114
and justified in a case of harassment and libel causing emotional distress, founded on malice aforethought, deceit and planned and willful perpetuation in perpetration, endangerment of my privacy.. Because I didn't want you when I was in a relationship. And then I gave it a shot when I was no longer? And I hurt you, along the way, as a result in the former context of everything within my right to defend my relationship and my beloved against cruelty and ill meddling, and in the context of the latter, as a result of my own trauma responding both to yours and THAT WHICH YOU HAD ALREADY INFLICTED, destabilized, sewn distrust. Any healthy person would not have performed significantly better; any healthy person would have looked at how unhealed they were and the gaps in needs and bids for them and the ways they were disrespected, devalued, and tortured by the only person who had the responsibility to meet them (I hate these bits and bursts I hate this medium I hate this situation!! Clarity disclaimer if you suddenly were enraged and forgot the context, I'm simply saying that if you want to be in a relationship you have to meet the qualifiers for your responsibilities in that relationship. When you don't, a healthy person says, "I will leave and not seek this from them again, at least not until they show tangible, BEYOND tangible evidence of improving". I am not implying a healthy person says "Don't believe people when they tell you who they are! Simply ask more of yourself!" like I did and I'm definitely not saying "You have more responsibility for your emotions than I do" though it could understandably be interpreted by you that way through projection. While we're at it, a healthy person definitely also does not say, "I hate this mentally ill irredeemable trash who I don't believe in, trust, or behave healthily or trustworthily towards. I'll keep terrorizing her until she does a Healthy And Loves Me". Where do the "Just traumabond the bitch, only way to keep

>>77435164
loyal"
>>>jokes
you've made in this very thread end? Once again, you unfortunately have to pick a lane. You knew what you were getting into and your perfect analysis of my capacity and character means you intended to get out of it every breakdown, every slip up, every mouthful of water sucked down treading and the splash in your eyes when treading turns panic.. Or there's something more human to the both of us. Anyhow. There is a CHAIN. It goes "I am in this relationship, I act a certain way, it affects/effects you". The "It affects/effects you" is on each side that person's responsibility insofar as emotional regulation, processing and reaction/response; the "I act a certain" way is on each side the responsibility of and towards one and the other. This is not a "should" or a preference; this is the difference between interdependency, or codependency and worse. That is the differentiation. The act is INFORMED (hopefully?) by the knowledge of the other's boundaries and needs, but whether the other RECEIVES this intent/act is a combination of the act itself happening or not and the other having the tools to respond appropriately.
I've derailed too far to continue in the style I was attempting, laying out my actions in combination as what-actually-happened and apologies-for and what's-Always-beneath, but. Losing steam is a good sign that catharsis will soon turn counterproductive circular maze. I know what I've done, my rhetoric doesn't require rhetorical to-water-leading. But I cannot make sense of what's been done to me in a gratifying way. There is more time to pass before that integration actualizes. But worrying about it all the time feels like helping. The whole "The time will pass anyways" thing goes both ways. I would be at peace if it were more preferable weighed with the tools I have to achieve such a state, but it's not, so I won't be. Not much inside needs to change (and I only say that because holy shit the scandal if I say even in context

>>77435162
And that's something you're surprised by? And that's something unreasonable?

I wake up and weeks have passed and I saunter back around in a slow moment and you're still marching away at the same slander campaign, Kris. Talking about your feelings or sharing your milestones is a piss poor excuse and such milestones are eitherways degraded by association with such malefic and unconscious thrashing.
Surprise, surprise, some people do anything they can to get a piece of your energy. There are many names in many tongues for such creatures.

You need the antidote. Your body cannot take much more, son.

Yes, when I set out to express myself to anyone it's usually quite the undertaking. Normies swear we're bad at social cues but the highest scores in the country can't help you explain compassion to a 5th grader, Ahimsa to a highschooler, The Golden Rule to someone who knows nothing but shame and anguish.

With you especially, I know I need to get verbose even for my standards. And like I've said, it rarely helps, and if it helps, it rarely lasts, and all that said, I always try again.
I don't mind. Ultimately

I mind the state of the field, not the sweat I break plowing it

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>>77435200
>You need the antidote. Your body cannot take much more, son.
Okay, NOW we're talking. Give it to me, babe. Tie me down first or I'll fight it

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But that will be it, presently. I came in on you showing how much the LARPing has rent apart your psyche. You're LARPing even when you're yourself, now.

I speak to other Anons that wish to involve themselves with you, period, and especially who come through the web of your dishonest copes. And I speak so the smallest fraction of my letters might see the e-light of day. Same as I would step in if I saw R lurking around for some other traumatized girl to predate while talking about how the last bitch was, like, crraaaazzyyy, man, like crazy crazy

I would like all parties to have informed consent of the types of crazy that can be brought out of a person by the types of crazy I possess, such as
>The belief in Truth/Love, wanting to sleep, eat, and fuck well, wanting others to sleep, eat, and fuck well, wanting the powers and principalities that stand in the way of levels below levels below levels below Utopia to get with the Big Picture or fuck off to that island they always talk about

>>77435219
please don't be gross you deserve auric correction this is no time for your unresolved limerence turned nympho-omania i still receive more of your mana than i know what to do with nigga if you do ANYthing for realsies burn
those
beads

If ANYotherthing like apply some of what you've grifted and see how low vibrational this shit it. If it's so simple and so black and white please please act like it and be happy and seek your energy in better places and through better memories

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Ope, it was just a tease! Never gonna deliver. Can't

>>77435301
>If it's so simple and so black and white please please act like it and be happy and seek your energy in better places and through better memories
It is simple. And I am happy. I come here out of habit and have for years. Won't be long now until the habit is no more. You know as well as I do how hard it is to say goodbye to what you once called home.

phooooooh
https://voca.ro/18AOPYYwYx9u

No Kris, I cannot, I really cannot. I told you before we dated that overcoming your BPD-ass relational patterns would require life-partner-level investment. I was right. I went all in, you folded. I saw the way there and walked a short, short distance with you. That is why I continue to push, because you are not irredeemable. You are capable of OVERWHELMING toxicity, but you're capable of a lot elsewise. I just don't understand this recent dip in the graph. I never know where the backslide daisy-petal-picking leaves off.
"Leaning into" the emptional vampirism thing while only either enabling the dysfunction of others struggling and attempting to cope in a similar manner or shadowboxing people who make you feel inferior in the ways you can relate, the pain, and the ways you can't, the Work.. is not the antidote. I wish I could give it. Back then I wished to be it. But you cannot pretend your part of the equation is solved. You literally can't. Because I won't let you.

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>>77435346
And your graceful wrist-swivel wave to your homeland as you set sail, is..
>[legally unbecoming behavior], ill-will attitude towards fellow Anons in your home boards/threads, flirting with a person you morally disapprove of while morally grandstanding to/about your ex disingenuously while bragging about how your current partner, not the person you flirt with, while shitting up another thread to gripe about how much I (((shit up threads*))) [don't take shit from other demons]
I mean, the bridge-burn cold turkey method has collateral damages, you know, but

I'll believe it when I see it, Kris. The only constant I've ever known of you is you acting contrary to your word and to what we All Know. But cool starry bra one which also completely justifies or invalidates it all as according to Kris White Good Lilac Black Bad
(((can't believe he picked the white piece kekwhattafeminine yingwnbayin nor the space around&&between at this rate)))

sorry her BREASTESES I was about to reference your girlfriend's MASSIVE TRADFU HONKERS got ahead of myself there for shame for shame just think of her BOOOOOOOOOBS DUDE LMAO

You'd be right to think I'm a little jelly but you're implying/antagonizing it in the wrong direction. I think a buxom woman of the lord does not belong with you and I spit at you, sir, I spit

GOOD DAY

>>77435392
You're the one who folded like a cheap, dollar store lawn chair. I was more than dedicated to Union. You didn't want it, so you ran. You ran off to another man. But I did something unlike those in your life before; I didn't chase. I didn't chase because I know my worth.

You could never see past your own trauma and limited perspective. My big error was blaming you for that rather than seeing you as the victim of your own self-sabotage. For that I am sorry.

I hope you can heal. I really do

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Anywhooo

Let the (((memes))) roll.
Helluva un-crinkwithable genie wish, them memes.

~Mememaymaymoomoo

Wait before you go I do unironically need your advice on candle color. I'm heading to Walmart and I guess white is the go-to for purifying rituals?? And what incantation to use for mutually beneficial prayers and best wishes??? Admittedly a novice here

I like the beads idea, honestly might use the string in those. These things are gonna have like twenty cords between them lol. Trauma bonds don't play

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I'm not buying any rocks though. That's way too tryhard

>>77435543
I came to you with a short fuse and some HARD boundaries, Kris. There's truth in every untruth you spew. With a record like your treatment of me, taking the perspective that my attempts to AFFIRM that we were right for eachother, as some sort of misguided appeal-to-daddy "Look, look how mature and reasonable I am! I know we FEEL perfect for eachother but it's important to talk about things like sex and babies and jobs and homes, right?" thing, were me.. Nitpicking you or something.. That is not true, Kris. It is not true that we "weren't feeling eachother". That doesn't speak to either of our experiences. You don't speak for me, and you don't speak congruently to other things you've expressed to me in private and here, about how you were STRONGLY judging and resenting me the entire time. The fact that after you had already broken up with me, I allowed Centaur to fall asleep on our call (which had been entirely PG and platonic, which my right to partake in had been discussed CLEARLY and AT LENGTH, wherein your feelings were not just reassurance that my friendship with him and ALL it entailed, including my apparent budding crush on him, was alright, but encouragement that the dynamic should continue since I'd not been familiar with healthy or uplifting friendships in the majority of my days. That fact.. That I sent a public message, "Don't come back, don't think you can, I know myself too well to know what will come of that" I apologize for and REPEAT, was intended to sever us for good. But, like *clockwork*, Kris, you're doing it again. We've talked about this. So you say you nuke everything whenever you're upset, okay, (x) doubt, but okay. Plenty is still right there in the archives. Do you think if you present this narrative around a different audience some Anons will eventually ignorantly (and for the venting of their own frustrations, traumas and pains because they're miserable opportunists, not because they give a fuck about morality or being on the

>>77435543
>>77435775
proper side of it) dogpile me hard enough along with you that that's it? Every time I try to end with *spaciousness*, that's what I'm trying to achieve with my quippy rhetorical posings. I'm not just trying to be snide, I want to know, and I want you to ask yourself,
does *lying* help you? If the hurt is insurmountable by remorse, if I'm THAT bad, why do you need to lie about so MUCH, so OFTEN?
I know well enough where some of the flip-flop leaves off. I don't know why you jump to project/accuse that as some "You'll be sorry, one day, yooouuu'll see!" (like you did? In one of your last emails? Saying "I know I'm doing that textbook narcissism thing but it's *different*!" doesn't make it different. It's different if it's different and that didn't really change anything for me; there are other reasons I think you clinically Cluster B. But you did do the whole "You're really gonna regret losing me." Of course I am, you're the one that left me. If I wanted you gone or wanted to be gone I would have left myself. Funny wordplay if you cosmic squint at it) because I'm just saying that if you're not disappointed with yourself, you will be eventually. And I don't wish that for you. I sank to your level, I know what it's like here. I know what it feels like to wake up after erupting with this public outpouring of pain, pain, pain, more pain. I don't want you not around anymore but I don't want you trapped in a pattern like *this*. If truly, there's no deceit but the way you deceive yourself, and the injustice you see in my existence, my perceived lack of self-awareness and thereby incapacity towards remorse, it unsettles you in the way I'm unsettled to see the simple complicated and the complicated profaned, then.. Really, keep at it.

No satisfaction, no getting away with it! For anyone! But don't cause more hurt or take more on yourself in the process. You've haven't seemed capable of that. That's why change of environment might be easier than

change of habit.
The Work doesn't get done where it's comfortable. If your comfort came from turning away from the Work instead of sheltering in it, it's probably low quality. But conflict and Karma can be hard to discern. Very hard. To rest is not to flee, it's to dignify the work with a replenish mind, body, and soul. You could try a little rest. I can vouch.
And I always come back, too, because as stated above, the Work is always going to be there until you've done it so sufficiently there's not another person, situation, or planet that could elicit the same wavepattern from you.

>>77435707
Mirror. Do not fuck around with pactwork as your first attempt at ceremonial or ritual magick. I told you I'll take care of the cord, and I have. Research mirroring spells. No threefold-retribution con of something darker and/or accidental, all the Karmic pros. But what excuses will you have left to uphold your worldview when I receive all I send and have sent you, returned?
Could be a good experiment.

If you insist on le tiktok popmagick candlestringymelty.. How strong is your intent? This is a type-problemy sorta thing. Different strokes for different wands and all. If you think the empirical solidity of work done by mages past could bolster the strength of your intent, do it by the book. If your heart speaks loud enough, make it a new page in your Grimoire

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>>77434384
>>77435808
Get your shit together, you've been typing for literal hours. Look at the timestamps

>>77435707
Oh and for "incantations"..

Open-practice wise, [factoring other factors], hard to go wrong with the Ho'oponopono, I feel.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HnQJg-bprgQ&pp=ygUMaG8nb3Bvbm9wb25v
Understandably you could find resistance in yourself with that one. High humility, high reward. Otherwise.. Hm.
As a novice you still just need to get down the intent. If you're not *feeeeling* the words they ain't gonna do shit, man. Having someone's phone number is the Knowledge, dialing it up is the Intent, the conversation that transpires or whether you have to call again is the Will. If you know Love as a frequency, give that all your Attention. Otherwise, dig around a bit. You could ask a deity to reach out to work with you, be vigilant and give it a few days, listen to your intuition or look into any signs that come up as what relating correspondences to deities they might have, then go from there.
But really man, some INTJ JLouv realness for ya.. Magick ain't gonna do shit if you don't have the discipline to clean your altar. Or Ram Dass.. Somebody has to do the dishes. And not just somebody else while blissed out you receives Direct Experience, but YOU, to integrate the Gnosis and put it into PRACTICE.
I feel like you're trying to compete without the practice and magick is not a sport nor child's play. So maybe, like, prepare as you would for a psychedelic experience --that is what ritual should bring on after all; altered states are where the magic gets in. Get your affairs in order. Divine by making yourself a bet.
"If I can [healthy behavior] for one week straight, that will mean I am pure enough to go into ritual space" maybe?
Dunno. That's to entertain that. Above all I'd say as always, leave that facet to me

>>77435884
I have. I wake up most days and don't have the time or desire for it. I did today. Again, what is your point? And is it not something subjective of yourself you'll try to present as objective checkmate?

I didn't ever like the lengths I had to go to to make myself clear to you but it's usually the only option I have. And I'm not here to bring offboard life drama here, I'm adressing board drama onboard. Like I've always been. If making meaningful connections through shared interests is "shitting where you eat" I guess I did, but getting everyone else's and your stains out of your tablecloth after someone started a food fight is something else

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Dear Kris
Could you please stop fucking with my womanfriend? It's been three months. Enjoy spending time with your new mistress in the ways she wants instead of wasting your time bragging about using her to fulfil your previous prospect's dreams with in her own e-backyard. You've caused her to lose lots of sleep and shed many tears, and for what purpose? I don't understand how you can supposedly have a super important and respectable job, a wife, two little boys, a pile of videogames, and a brand new sweet young thing to fiddle that you're already planning a second holiday with and yet still have so much more time to shitpost on 4chan than I do.

I usually avoid looking at let alone post in these threads because I believe in personal space, but this is getting absurd.
Regards, C

>>77435913
I'm not whoever you think you're talking to but I don't think this is fruitful at all beyond just giving you a headache. I mean holy shit, 2 hours and a half?

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>>77435775
>It is not true that we "weren't feeling eachother". That doesn't speak to either of our experiences.
Huh. That's interesting. Because that's exactly what you said to me and what my experience was when you said you didn't feel anything with me. I was a "boring earth sign" et cetera. All the reasons and "confirmations" you'd been searching for the entire time we spent together started coming out. You found what you were searching for -- a reason to run and avoid a connection you said was the healthiest and most stabilizing you've had. You sabotaged it because you were afraid of losing it. Deathly afraid so you suppressed your feelings and distanced. Classic move. Sorry I wasn't strong enough to navigate your head games and realize that you pursuing another man was my signal to try to chase after you...

Look, at the end of the day you left me for another man. Understandable trauma-based response and distorted thinking or not. You chose someone else. That's fine. Fuck off permanently.

>>77435808
So . . . White then? Heading out now. Love you, see you never

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>>77435547
This post was supposed to be for posteritytrip and then I forgot and then there was more but

yadda yadda

>>77435941
Oh. Well then. Another person with little to no context offering their opinion. I appreciate your investment/engagement. I will disregard the uselessness of your suggestion and internalize the consideration regardless.

>>77435927
G-good morning!!
Bweeeeuubee..

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>>77435927
>Could you please stop fucking with my womanfriend?
Okay. It's been enough. I won't fuck with her anymore.

>>77435968
https://voca.ro/1aEGfaXmAKf2

bregh yrll see me everyday you seek me out and then throw a tantrum for seeing me and then get rekt && check'd on account of that tantrum

>>77436025
Thank you, I still appreciate the time you spent as my only d*scord friend, even if you did block me.

>>77436366
Mhm. Thank you for playing chess with me and for the conversations we did have, however brief.

Take good care of your womanfriend. I have thought and still think you will be good for each other.

I don't know why I still write here. I wish you loved me. I feel lost and don't know what to do, I have more time to live my life now but something just feels lost

>>77436641
I don't know why I still write here either. I don't feel lost, though. I feel found. Still, I linger. Are we really here forever?

Take a knife and drain your life hahaha

Well, I fucking cut myself inexplicably on a piece of plastic. That was amazing. But it is done. Phew

Oh, she will be getting your oracle cards. I did need an object of yours for this, after all. But now no more

no more no more no more

Stock in an insolvent corp ran by degenerate gamblers. Like clockwork if the gears were scored on the universal ledger.

One to burn
One to cut
Two to sever

Even though I got something that I wanted I still don't think he wants to be with me which leaves me to just want to play pretend so he's happy and just go once he's bored. I don't know what I'm saying, he may see this but I doubt. I'm going to cut myself now

>>77436641
who are you even talking to? tell me

>>77438349
>.>

>[my] oracle cards
>object of [mine]
Dude wat

If a mug you left with your blessing ain't yours then cards that were never given to me aren't mine. If I was a mail order bride I wouldn't have even made it to the states before you had tapped out again jej

Also posting about ritual aint smart when you're scattered to begin with. Weakjuice. You can't HVNDLE the interference/audience. You're bad @ convergence you need to play to your dramaturgy

It's pointless to engage in something like this in a disrespectful or careless manner because it doesn't do the right thing to your brain that makes the internal placebo-power shift even if magick is bullshit. i would think someone as fresh as you would wanna cover your bases and be a man of science about it

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Apparently these cord cutting candle rituals are absolute fucking memes
The thread just sits on the pool of wax and rides the whole way down. It's been 30 minutes since the flame reached the thread and it just keeps hanging and lowering with the pool. It refuses to burn. What a fucking letdown lmao

Okay
*Two* to cut
None to burn (perhaps metaphorically gooder)
And one unhealthy as shit trauma based attraction to sever fucking forever

Hello I am kirs what the fuck is going on here

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>>77438349
Oh I've got my oracle bone at the ready.

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>>77438905
>If a mug you left with your blessing ain't yours then cards that were never given to me aren't mine.
Yeah, I know but it was literally all I had. I needed an object of yours and I was desperate. They were already given to her anyways kek

>>77438929
>Also posting about ritual aint smart when you're scattered to begin with. Weakjuice. You can't HVNDLE the interference/audience. You're bad @ convergence you need to play to your dramaturgy
Nah, I got this shit
Any magician worth his ritual salt just cuts the shit manually anyways because the real source of power is their Will

shit is like glued into the wax now making it even more secure
dear god that better not be symbolic

>>77438987
I can see it doing something on a psychological level. Would improvise less elaborate mental rituals to provide the impetus. Remember working with identical knifes with the "blessed" one performing better in terms of work output and cleaner cuts at the micro level. Even when in the hands of a different actor.

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>>77439003
that some sorceror shid

N

I miss and love you very much. Just because I'm upset doesn't mean I don't care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't try to resolve things.

I'm proud of you and all your hard work. I respect you. I love our fun chats. I think you're very handsome. You're a good boy when you're around or on a notified absence.

I only poke at you or put you down when you explicitly ask me to. I hope you never took anything mean to heart. I saw an interesting video by an domme on YouTube about emotional s&m where she suggested on opt-in system for emotional sadism so that the domme knows what not to touch. If you need to update your needs, we can talk about that system. I don't know if I have gone too hard on you before. You really begged me to be as harsh as possible to you, but were you into that? I don't know.

I look forward to you coming back if you can meet the very reasonable behavioral standards that I made clear for my own self-respect. I love you and wish you the best.

Maybe I don't even need to do anything
Besides to stop fucking griefing people for reasons

I'm gonna make that clear if he comes back. I saw some posters upset about feeling unloved. Maybe he does even after everything I've done to communicate interest and how he's done very little.

I will make it clear if he comes back nicely. Maybe he's a super sensitive boy despite his front.

I am becometh erect

>>77438858
does it matter? there's no point
I just wanted to be loved and be listened to
I'm tired of my life. I gave everything and one stupid mistake led to this I'm just tired
I need to go

As grotesque as it might be. I suppose, I owe the caganer some measure of thanks for the hale fecundity of this season's verdant growth.

>>77439900
I honestly want to know because I hold a deep need to be wanted or remembered like this so I'm daydreaming it's me but I know it's not
so please just say their name so I can go away

I'm not sure whether to pursue you or not but I miss you and want to hold you, I'm getting horny and I'm thinking I should have pursued you all those years ago. You always seem to be worrying but the last times we talked you came off as moist around me, I think we compliment each other well but I've always been anxious and end up self sabotaging myself though at least now you know you get me hard. Also you're an amazing artist I think we could work on something together perhaps some day.

In the end, I didn't cut them
just tossed 'em
I could have at any time
it was always within me
no spell needed
and that's that

>>77439921
maybe it is maybe it isn't I know my person isn't in this place
who are you trying to be remembered by

God says...

When you see me you realize you dont actually love me and thats why youre avoiding me. Right?

>>77440117
Doesn't matter who. I just wish someone loved me enough to check in, or even just message first every day. I envy that in other people.

>>77440241
NUUUUU im just veri shy the ugly truth im hiding isnt dark but pastel with floral prints >///<

we have unbecometh derilect

enjoy him, fatty

>>77441069
>enjoy him, fatty
that's not what this is. I just realized that I was used and discarded and treated like less than dirt when all I wanted to have was be heard and cared for.
you can't wrap your mind around the fact that there's more to caring for a person than sex and looks can you?
enjoy ruining that last one in your own hands too, because when you do you'll have noone there to truly care for you

no more tubby :<

what a sad existence where you can immediately hate and despise someone you "loved".
don't throw that word around lightly

>>77441130
you dont know who i am, none of that bothers me because its simply not true

>>77441069
What is the point of acting like this?

>>77441130
Why did you date her?

>>77441171
probably wrong person then
>>77441174
oh hey look it's the resident question asker
piss off

>>77441171
oh and if it really is you, maybe your words and views don't match your actions irl. ever consider that?

>>77441292
Sounds like a good thing to communicate to your person instead of yelling at some random rude person in a letter thread. A lot of people respond well when someone they care about offers constructive criticism.

>>77440056
People who use "moist" and "hard" in a paragraph related to amorous intent are fucking cringe. We all know how that part of human anatomy works so how about being just a tiny bit imaginative to convey your message without triggering the ICK in your readers? Enjoying pussy juice and reading about it are not the same thing, k?

Whining in here about what someone is doing wrong instead of at least trying to talk to them about it is fucked up. If you've already tried, I get it more.

>>77441343
do you think I haven't tried?

>>77441380
>ever consider that?
It was this that made me think you hadn't. Sounds like you know you didn't get the point across

>>77441292
what are you talking about
you think yours did?

>>77441393
he just likes to try to say things he thinks ill find jarring so that he will provoke a response

>>77441395
acknowledging your actions and not simply saying "stop" or "I don't care" multiple times is a start
so yeah I think I did try to make up for it and change a lot
>>77441393
can't be much more simple than just stating it to their face can it?

You've been told "I'm not your person, sorry" and similar things many many times. Just stop.

>>77441401
hmm you might not be the person I'm thinking of based on the way you type.
either way I said what I meant.
she could say she cared all she wanted and yet when I asked her to simply sit down and talk things through it was just "no I'm not doing this I don't care"
so okay. I'm done trying.

Am I not allowed to ask even if they're not my person? What's the point of them posting here if not for other people to respond?

>>77441425
i said idc bc i was worn down from you constantly asking the same questions, demanding me to explain everything i was upset about when i had already explained it multiple times. i said i dont care because i dont care to repeat myself to someone who is only listening for things to use in their argument. you never wanted to talk about things, so stop using that as your excuse for being a shitty boyfriend. you did not listen to my explanations and you acted entitled to me saying the same thing on loop because you never understood. you are retarded

>>77441393
not sure why I feel the need to reply to this again but I did.
I pointed out how she did things that hurt, both after and before which she wouldn't have done if she cared, she'd have talked to me instead. And her response was "I'm done, I'm not talking about this" "no I'm not doing this no"
so there.

>>77441467
I'm not looking for things to use against you, I never was.
The ONLY thing I tried to tell you was that you kept saying "idc" when I tried to talk to you about stuff at times or mention things you didn't want to care about.
I did want to talk about things and asked you to take maybe 30 minutes out of your day. the best you could manage was 5 minutes to tell me again that you're not going to talk about it.
bringing up stuff that happened isn't "using it against you".
if you cared, I gave you many chances to show that you did.

if you don't care to repeat something or maybe clarify what you meant, then idk what to say. and tbf I think a lot of the time you just felt like I was attacking you when I wasn't.

all it would've taken was not spitting "I don't care" in my face when I tried to talk to you about random stuff even before I started repeating the same thing (unrelated stuff prior, just us talking).

>>77441467
>you never understood
you seem to not get that sometimes what you're talking about isn't what I was talking about, and maybe I just wanted to sit down and actually work through this shit.
you can't expect fun and excitement in a serious relationship if you aren't willing to sit down and talk about this stuff when it comes up after 8-9 months.

call me retarded all you want, but I had a reason for repeating this shit - mainly that you never actually address anything and just hand wave stuff away if I feel like your one short sentence reply isn't enough

>>77441494
its insane how someone can just make up a narrative out of their own delusions from being left alone. i did listen and i did explain, you refused to listen when i clarified and theres only so much someone can take. enjoy the 16 year old you disgusting fucking degenerate pedophile

>>77441509
i literally would explain things over and over in paragraphs and you would IMMEDIATELY ask questions that i had just answered. eventually i got exhausted and thought whats the point in explaining when im not listened to anyway.

>>77441514
you're an Idiot, I'm not dating anyone. you can't seem to wrap your head around the fact that you don't have to do anything sexual to talk to a person. I genuinely thought she was out to get me and wanted to talk about it. and tbf she was right about one thing - that you'd go back to that creep and send him more stuff, and that was right on the money.
>I did explain
how? the only thing I even got annoyed at initially was the fact that you'd say "I don't care" when we were talking about random shit before all this.
>>77441522
okay and what I tried telling you even at the time was that your explanations don't make sense. they didn't line up with your actual actions. if I repeated stuff it was to try to explain that to you, yet you couldn't wrap your head around the fact that I just didn't buy your explanations and felt like they didn't match that happened. it's that simple. I'm not sure how else to make that any more plain

>>77441467
fyi I was talking about before all that shit. you'd tell me you didnt care about what I was talking about for random stuff, and expect me to demand stuff from you for the tingles.
get a grip.

Are you leaving me for good?

Arguing with r9k females is never the move. They are drama vampires. Just walk away

If you invite a vampire into your home, then you will be powerless against them
This is analogous for letting a toxic person into your thoughts

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I'm supposed to be studying, for, like, my life and stuff but yet here I am feeling like shit because of an internet relationship

Just laugh at their DARVO bullshit and let them stew

i ghosted some robot here because i was still pursuing a guy who's busy alot and doesn't talk to me often...

boi u spell words like ur still in high school

How does someone wise know if someone is evil to take another fork in the road?

>>77441348
i think we needed to know the people involved were moist and hard for plot reasons, i wouldn't mind my legacy being making a guy hard

>>77442208
It's simple you dumb fuck
It's not at all
Can you perceive their actions without misconstruing them?
Can you step out of and evaluate your own thoughts?
You probably can't.

Nigga if you're here asking if they're toxic then you already know the answer. You wouldn't be asking if you didn't.

>>77442254
>Can you perceive their actions without misconstruing them?

That's the hard part.

>>77442254
Then consider pondering
>Can you step out of and evaluate your own thoughts?

>>77442289
>>77442270
Fuck I'm retarded god fucking

>>77442208
Using discernment. And unironically by thinking less.

Is a bitch trying to involve you in her arguments? Simply sit back and enjoy the spectacle. You are not on the hook to defend yourself. It is not your responsibility to correct them. Are they wrong about you? Of course. Are they twisting the truth and being uncharitable? So what. It is no skin off your back. Let them be wrong. They harm only themselves. Letting go of the opinions of others is one of the steps toward having peace of mind. Maintain your peace of mind while they author dozens of maxed out posts containing nothing but absolute seethe and rustled jimmies.

A high level strat is giving just enough pushback to keep them going once you see them tucker our a little and lose a bit of steam. Just don't get emotionally invested in the exchange

Daily draw Ace of Cups. It's a good day today boys

>>77442601
Tax
hehehheheh
Oh fuck

>>77442675
Luckily it's not additional income as long as I use it rather than cashing. Comp is amazing.

Already taxed into oblivion anyway. I have to keep reminding myself that being in the highest bracket is a good problem to have. If Biden has his fucking way though and makes long term cap gains into ordinary income then it's gonna hurt bad. Guess I'll just have to move into munis. Fuck you, Joe

>>77442835
Joe is seriously an absolute nigger

>>77442216
Fair but making a guy hard isn't that difficult tho. Just prevent him from urinating after giving him tons to drink.
There, boner town.

Or, don't let him masturbate/ have sex for a few days and show him a chick eating oysters. Again, boner town.

Not knocking your legacy but you might want to aim higher?

I snuck out of work today after 3 hours seeing the weather is nice and I better soak in some rays as long as the weather is good. I'm sitting on my favorite bench and listen to the song of a couple of Lapwings that returned in our area after being almost extinct. They sound very atypical for birds and are very cute to observe.
Now is the perfect weather. Sunny, a bit of cool wind and no rain. Perfection.

Before you give me shit for being a lazy nigger. I shift my workload to days with shit weather so I can enjoy the few days that are nice and I have plenty of overtime hours saved up for these occasions. And my pay is shit so I'm not feeling bad about enjoying myself a bit.

>>77442405
>Higher level strat on how to troll people efficiently.
4chong, please never change.

>>77442208
Interesting problem. Depends on the details that are omitted here.
Care to flesh the situation out a bit?

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>>77443005
Trolling is a 4chan tradition and favoured pastime. We gotta keep the flame alive

>>77443013
It's regarding a family member who seems incapable of mitigating their haughtiness enough to truly change. I think I'll step back and let it mellow out over the years. This time it will be benign negligence, I suppose.

>>77443141
Same, kinda. I just need a place to speak my mind but I admit that trolling some emotional, dumb faggot is also fun.

>>77443147
Seems like that one has little reason to change? Is that person extremely independent?

>>77443204
Fairly, though I'd say in a selfish and irresponsible way.

>>77441069
love how throwaway comments like these always get one or two retards who are so butthurt and guilty they think it's about them, keep at it and eventually you'll get some mental case talking about how she wants to decapitate herself with a spoon because of what you did and calling you a narc

>>77441986
No, but I am focusing entirely on my own goals.

You can always talk to me, but I'm not going to be the one to break the silence.

>>77443270
Just teach that person that being less selfish may enhance their own life in indirect ways? Maybe your person is in the process of transitioning from doormat to self-respecting person with a brief station in asshole-town? It's not easy to find a good balance between getting taken advantage of one being a selfish recluse. Speaking from experience.

asking for your permission to sell my gold as the bank is threatening to close the account unless if i provide them with documents which i do not have

thank you, this gives me the chance to pay my zakat too

>>77441522
okay so you have nothing more to say then? this is exactly what would happen before.
you'd give me some answer, I wouldn't buy it and try to talk about it further and you'd get annoyed.
your responses were basically just hand waving shit away. all I asked is that we communicate a bit when things were a bit tough but you don't want that.
stop trying to play the victim here when you aren't open to talking about stuff and stop pretending like you tried.

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Girl = you
Orange = our e-relationship
Dog's anus = your false image of me

>>77441522
at some point I genuinely feel like all you want is the last word in things. if you want that, you have it.
I'm telling you to your face that I didn't feel like you really wanted to talk about anything and just brushed me off. and at this point it's fucking with my head badly.
if you want to believe you're somehow justified here, go ahead. I tried my hardest and genuinely wanted it to work, but this is clearly a game to you. goodbye

>>77443882
That are persimmons, you uncultured swine. Looks like our evaluation of your person was indeed accurate.

Actually the skin is porous and looks more like a tangerine. Also you fell for the ol' "name something incorrectly in the webm/gif to stir shit up" imageboard meme, brainlet.

Wow. Bench anon here chilling surrounded by nature's noises, reading a book in peace.
Than some complete asshat sits a few benches further down and is literally screaming into his phone managing some rental unit or something. He speaks with an almost retarded voice and I don't get why he has to come to a place of quiet and relaxing to deal with some work shit in this inconsiderate manner. I walked to him and was already half-way there and he shut the fuck up for a couple minutes and continued to annoy everyone around him a couple minutes later. Than he came over wanting to talk but I kept my eyes locked on my book bc. he seems to be the type of person that has only obvious things to say and does so with very annoying pauses and emmms and way too loud to make himself heard.
One of my bench mates called him noise-satan and he responded with: you tool.
Now both are gone and I can enjoy the peace until my bladder forces me to relinquish my favorite spot.
I hate people that can't read rooms and adjust their noise level according to the situation.
I hate these loud retards.

>>77444160
I bet your vagina smells rank.

Oh he mad.

>>77444306
True, pretty close to shoot up a school. And I don't even have kids.

dude wtf you just told me it was ok and i can proceed?!

>>77442208
I think you should talk to them about your concerns and see if they're open to hearing them. If you don't feel safe, tell them, and see if they will come up with a plan with you (e.g. for fear of marriage, they suggest a prenup with legal counsel for you both and premarital counseling). Does it seem like they're willing to work with you? How do they respond to serious criticism?

>>77444499
Activate it!
If they find this burner or other equipment, know that you're on your own so don't fuck it up. This time. K? Cool.

I've dated a couple of "evil" people for a very short time. They both admitted to either getting into fights or having multiple DV arrests. Their criticism was unasked for and unproductive, they lacked a sense of boundaries, and they responded poorly to being told no. They also would threaten to kill, beat, or rape me or those I cared about.

Needless to say, I did not date these people for long.

Things aren't usually like dramatic movies. If someone is evil, there are usually glaring red flags very early on. That's because criminals are usually low inhibition and will take the opportunities they have to fuck you over. The more opportunities someone doesn't take, the more likely it's just your paranoia.

>>77444603
Why marry at all? It lost all meaning after the option for divorce got available and it allows grifters to come to money using marriage as a tool. Just make clear that a prenup is non-optional to be safe to not get used as an atm by an asshat.
Also, make it public that you guys have one in place so the less well-off person doesn't get accused of being a gold-digger. Seems simple, so what is the problem?

>>77444748
Why marry:
-Marriage contract helps for taxes. You save a lot of money.
-Married people have an easier time buying a home and adopting kids.
-Immigration can be significantly easier.
-Married men live longer and have more sex.
-You have a large amount of control over your chances of divorce. If you agree on kids and finances, know each other long enough, get premarital counseling, and don't marry super young, you're much less likely to divorce.
-There is social status to being married.
-You have someone who's a lot more legally bound to you and is expected to care for you when you're sick.
-Married men live longer, have more sex, and have more children. The impact on those children is better than just being in a long term relationship. (Those things that scare you about marriage are the reasons why the bond is respected more. Not saying every part of it is fair, but still.)

>>77443338
Nta but where do you communicate?

I can feel the vitamin d coursing through my blood stream and I think I'll get a couple hours of KCD in, maybe after vaping a tiny bit of cannabis. When one keeps tolerance low, cannabis is such a cheap drug. I can't wait to befriend someone who lets me pet their dog while I'm somewhat high. :3
Is it weird to ask strangers to pet their dog at the park?

>>77444803
>>77444748
Sorry i pit some stuff in more than once lol. I haven't had my coffee yet.

Also, I forgot to include:
-Insurance benefits

>>77444803
none of these things matter at all as a man because the very real prospect that the woman can change her mind based on a whim one day (happens) and rinse you in divorce court for all you're worth with a very high success rate, hence why marriage is at record lows and men are checking out from society. no rational argument or bullet point list you can make addresses or defeats the visceral reality that marrying for an average man is like playing russian roulette.

>>77444803
Wow. You have thought it through as it seems. I think the only real reason is stability for the kids and the caring in illness part. A tax cut is nice but more a bonus than a reason to marry, IMHO.
Interesting that you brought up immigration. Hmmm

A couple days ago, an old, sweet couple set next to me on my favorite bench and nerded out about the local wild life. Not gonna lie, seeing working marriages was nice. They both looked very happy. They acted very courteous with each other, unlike some pairs that stop being nice to each other when they got too familiar or something. It's too late for me but nice to see that some couples find someone who clicks with them.

I don't know what I'm doing right now, everything hurts. I just want things to be okay but I'm feeling used and worthless.

>>77444909
I still can't believe that you don't grind your own beans. It even saves money while tasting way better. The few win-win situations of life.

>>77444951
But anon, if you're truly worthless, can people use you?
Choose one, anon.

>>77444803
>>77444945
Agreed, the only good point on is the one that addresses children. Marriage partnerships should predominantly be for the sake of kids and even then understand that it's a sacrifice people make for the betterment of the next generation, more specifically their own progeny. "Married men have more sex" was also listed twice, and also citation needed. It seems pretty plain to see that most marriages end up with dead bedrooms and people begrudgingly tolerating each other.

>>77444932
This really depends on the state you live in. There's a lot of hype that leaves out significant facts of cases. For example, a lot of the arguments center around 50/50, and alimony, and child custody. States have different laws for these things. Alimony is usually temporary is at all, and men usually win at least partial custody if they ask for it. They just usually don't, and it's decided by the whole family that the kids should stay with their mother since that tends to cause the least disruption. Most men don't want to be the primary caretakers, which is fine, but women have every right to argue that our role is worth something.

You can decide what's fair with her in a prenup beforehand. Contrary to the chants of red pill circles who know nothing about divorce law, it's extremely rare for a prenup to get thrown out. If you guys write one with legal counsel, and you aren't holding a gun to her head or exploiting her lack of knowledge of English or something, they can't just throw that out. Get second opinions if you want, have at it. Still cheaper financially and mentally than an ugly divorce down the line.

Discussing it also clarifies both of your values and what you think you owe each other. I think there's immense value in that alone. Personally, I wouldn't want to marry a man who thought I deserved no property and no alimony after having his children and being faithful while he goes and impregnates someone else. That's a values conflict.

>>77445126
Let's hope that they include "regular, weekly sex" in the prenup papers so the guy that got baited into marriage with "more sex" won't be deeply disappointed.

>>77445126
I already explained the double post in a follow up. You can easily find information on marriage and sex. You have to break it down by age, obviously, because of differences in sex drive and responsilities: https://flowingdata.com/2017/07/03/married-people-sex/.

I'm pretty sure you pulled the dead bedroom thing from your own ideological circles that you choose to run in, not actual data. There are marriages like that, but there are also a whole lot of loners sitting there not fucking either.

>>77445220
It should have caveats for things like right after childbirth or vasectomy, and other such things.

>>77445242
These are self-explanatory but yeah, why not make it watertight.

>>77445266
Never underestimate the law's ability to not be self-explanatory

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10888174/
Good thing to keep an eye on

>>77445055
I mean by that logic I guess I'm not worthless, just don't hold enough value for respect.

>>77445645
What do people do to you? I'm an introvert and like to be ignored by normies so I'm mostly ok with how things stand. Lately people start talking to me and it's a bit weird. Why strangers have to comment on the lives of other people is so strange for me, as I couldn't care less about people doing their thing (as long as it doesn't affect me in my freedoms).

>>77445766
I'm a very emotional person so I like helping people, but people use my kindness and then inflict pain on me. Basically a heavy people pleaser but I'm scared of losing people for when I stand up for myself.

>>77445995
Oh I remember you.
How do they inflict pain on you after you helped them? Did you tell them to stop doing that?

>>77446047
You're probably thinking of a different person, especially since my situation is quite complicated but I can't go much into detail, just wanted to vent a bit about it. At least though when I'm upset with him I take my rage and just clean

>>77441986
that's up to you now isn't it

>>77446306
You cope with your frustrations by cleaning?
Or by doing "cleans", as in weight lifting?
Either way, not the worst way to cope with stuff.

>>77446865
It's cleaning, it fuels me to just do something productive. I've cleaned quite a bit now and still going haha

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Here is my girlfriend