How do you make peace and be content and happy with a life that doesn't really amount to anything? Feel satisfied with an existence of just going to job, do job, go home, do chores, do whatever pointless bullshit until it's time to go to bed, go to bed, wake up, go job, do job? How do I do that for the rest of my life without becoming suicidal?How do you spend a lifetime just pointlessly waiting for death and not feel the urge to just skip to the end?
>>31206429Billions of people did/are doing it. >not feel the urge to just skip to the end?feelings aren't in your control
>>31206446I am aware that billions of people are doing it right now. What I do not understand is what I'm doing wrong that they have no problem with. Why do other people seem to find it so easy? What do I do wrong?
>>312064581. fuck some hookers2. find ways to upgrade ur income3. hookers4. some drugs5. try to make some friends if u can. most people nowadays dont really socialize though if they wont pragmatically benefit from doing so though
>>312064721. I have no interest in sex (yes I've had testosterone levels checked, they're fine)2. I have enough income, I don't want or need more.3. I wouldn't want them if they were the ones paying me.4. I've gotten sick of all the drugs I've had access to, and dealers are too shitty to deal with to get into anything new.5. I have enough friends, we talk every day.
>>31206429Remind yourself of what you're thankful for. Nobody ever promised life would be unending bliss or an overall happy experience. It's all about perspective.
>>312064971. ok fine2. fix that. u probably wont leap from xyz class to xyz class but fix that faggot3. ok fine4. hmm. ok fine maybe ure older than me thats why5. okso fix #2
>>31206502What do I have to be thankful for? I didn't want any of this.>>31206503I don't want more money. I'm 30, and I have enough money to live in a way that's comfortable, and the cost-benefit of doing more work to get more money wouldn't be worth it.
>>31206429>>31206429Feelings are totally in your control. OP, your remedy is to make your life one worth living.
>>31206579If feelings are totally in your control, why aren't you spending your time in a constant and total sense of euphoria?
Theres tons of things an average person can do. You dont need anyone's permission.
>>31206594The matter isn't about permission, it's about capability. I'm not living a life out of some fear of doing something prohibited, and wanting to be appropriate and accepted. I'm living like this because I am incapable of doing anything worthwhile or significant. Not everybody gets to be special.
>>31206497>gotten sick of all the drugs I've had access to, and dealers are too shitty to deal with to get into anything new.Darknet. DMT.
>>31206590Because he's a free will comparabilist, basically he's full of shit
>>31206624We live in an individualist society. If you aren't special or at least above average, then you will get social stress. Learn how to stop caring, join some kind of community so you can at least feel some meaning and recognition
>>31206739Only if you give me boomer-level step-by-step instructions on how to operate darknet. I literally do not know jack shit about how to do anything on computers.I'm the guy who calls the "hey you know about computers, right?" friend because my computer isn't working, and when he asks me "when was the last time you updated your [computer part]?", all I can answer is that I don't know what that is and I've never heard that word before. So probably never.Turns out it was never. I had never updated the thing I had not known about, not even once since I got this computer.
>>31206758Any advice on how to stop caring?
>>31206770Bro, I'm not spoon-feeding you. Teenagers can figure out how to do it, so can you. There's guides on Reddit
>>31206803Okay. Guess I'll just get arrested while trying.
>>31206770All I'll say is, get a VPN BEFORE you start looking up how to do it. Go on Nord VPN and pay for it, then turn on the VPN, then look up how to darknet.
>>31206809There's too much info to dump here anyways. At the end of the day it's extremely simple, you just need to take all the right steps. You don't sound like a real junkie, otherwise you'd be motivated to learn how to do it. Just try growing your own shrooms or something
>>31206778Learn about history, it at least gives you a lens to see how a lot of what we worry about is just culturally indoctrinated
>>31206770Pay your dork friend to do it for you
>>31206817>You don't sound like a real junkieThat's because I'm not. I used to drink heavily for 10 years, and quit almost cold turkey the moment I realised that I'm not getting anything out of it anymore, I feel just as bad drunk as I do sober so I'm just wasting money. Never wanted to get drunk again after that, not even once. I tried weed several times, always desperately wishing that maybe this time it's going to be fun like they always promise, you know the "it's a different strain bro" thing, but every time I just feel like I'm sleep deprived on the bottom of an ocean and all I can do is just wait for it to be over. And I'm immune to amphetamines.
>>31206825I know about history. I'm aware that nothing in my existence matters in any way, and that has contributed to my contemplation of why bother continuing to live if none of it matters anyhow.>>31206831He's the most sheltered mf I know, he calls potheads "junkies". He's not going to get me shit even if he knew how.
>>31206851If you've never done psychedelics then DMT would be too much anyway. Look up how to grow shrooms, you can order the spores legally if you're in the US
>>31206851Micro dosing shrooms might help you. They could also just feel like a another strain of pot. A low dose of LSD cures my autism when I'm on it, but you'll need the darknet to get it
>>31206866>nothing in my existence matters in any way,You're definitely depressed. Yes, logically, none of this matters, but if you had more neurotransmitters flowing in your brain, you wouldn't be thinking about it. You have to figure out how to try fixing that, but travelling isn't a bad option for getting out of a rut, if you can afford it.
>>31206885I'm not in the US, and that stuff is not legal here.>>31206890I have no idea where I'd find psychedelics. I've literally never met a dealer who'd know anyone who could get them. I guess darknet is the right way if I figure out how a vpn works.>>31206917I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14 and I've been on 9 out of 12 of every antidepressant they have available on the market here. I've travelled plenty enough in my life, I've learned that most places you can go just look exactly like they do in the pictures and smell worse than you'd expect.
>>31206936>vpnYou'll need more than a VPN, the VPN is so that when you look up "darknet guide", it won't show up on your ISPs log of sites you've visited. Seriously, if you intend on attempting to order drugs, DO NOT leave any trace of it on your ISP search history without hiding behind a VPN first. The chance of getting caught is very low but if you do, you need plausible deniability
>>31206851Nobody is 'immune' to amphetamines, but I know the types of people that say things like that. Also you seem to be stuck on some need for 'significance' or being 'special'. Honestly, anything that might help someone else you will find a way to dismiss or invalidate, because the actual process of picking holes in things is one of the few things you've found that gives you an ego boost, and you've become emotionally addicted to it. You'll also not want to give anyone the else the satisfaction of 'helping you' as deep down you think this will establish them as superior to you, so you'll whine and complain like you always do.
>>31207059The alternative is going to a public wifi spot and reading on how to do it there. Just don't use your home wifi to search anything related to the darknet. I wish I had some real advice for you besides how to order drugs, but they really help if you use them right. Maybe travel to the Amazon and do Ayahuasca.
>>31207065The brain is a filter for our noisy sensory input, and it filters on the basis of 'relevance to our goals'. If becoming rich/famous is our goal, things we used to enjoy become 'empty' as the brain starts filtering out the 'irrelevant' joys and pleasures until almost everything that isn't in service to that goal will be either invisible or even experienced as an irritating 'waste of time' or hinderance.Other root causes of your dissatisfaction are:1. High expectations - even an entire planet can seem like a tiny speck of dust when compared to something else. The thing with our expectations is that they need not be grounded in reality at all, and when we start out with delusions of grandeur and 'specialness', comparing ourselves to the end result of chinese whispered myths that embellish the achievements of 'great men', then even the very best POSSIBLE life will seem like a shitty disappointment. Don't invest your ego in having unrealistic standards if you want to be happy or fulfilled. 2. Low self-esteem, maybe you were bullied, maybe you just failed at an unrealistic goal you set yourself. Your need to feel special strongly implies this is a pressing emotional need for you though, and you will probably bounce between different projects that never quite fulfil you.3. Misdirected blame and resentment for the suffering you endured as a result of 1 & 2. This can manifest as a subconscious need to 'punish' whoever you blame, and if it is yourself then you will get into some very unpleasant thought patterns and a vicious cycles.Psychedelics are one of the few things that 'might' help you form new thought patterns, but don't expect to just take something and be fixed, YOU need to change, you'll need to do a lot of introspection on the nature of self and ego, rigidity, perception, and to develop more fluid emotional goals.
>>31207059Okay I know some of these words.>>31207065I've done enough amphetamines to know they really don't seem to have an effect on me. And I'm trying to google how to set up a VPN as we speak.>>31207078Any ideas of what drugs might fix me that are available in the old world? I'm not in the Americas.>>31207087Those are good points, the problem is getting there. I don't know how to lower my expectations without giving up on having any standards at all. How do you know what a realistic goal is, and how do you accept never amounting to anything better than that without becoming depressed about it?
>>31206429the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
>>31207137You have anhedonia/dysthymia. Have you tried eating as cleanly as possible and working out? It should help. Amphetamines cure my dysthymia. Psychedelics are good as a therapeutic but if you have an underlying brain chemistry problem they probably won't do much. I'm not sure what drugs can help you.
>>31207698I have, and it didn't help. I've been on every antidepressant they've tried, and I asked a doctor about considering magnet tretment, but he wanted to try doubling my antidepressant dose instead.
